Christmas Inadequacy

At Christmas all I see through my foggy lens' is old men parading around as Santa Claus, bright lights that wrap around my artificial Christmas tree, which is covered in ornaments that I choose to put on there, presents wrapped in holiday paper, and holiday parties where I tend to overeat because there are treats that you only get once a year. Do get me wrong i enjoy all that stuff, I really do but in the back of my mind I'm always thinking, "There is SO much more to this holiday." I tend to feel inadaquate at Christmastime. I feel like I'm not good enough or consistant enough to celebrate Jesus's birth. I'm a Christian, yes, but I don't read my Bible regularly, I tend to have a mouth that says words that are of the world, and tend to talk about things I shouldn't be giving my time to. I feel the same way during communion. I feel I'm too bad to partake because even when I examine myself and ask forgiveness, I know I will probably do that sin again. Yet in my heart i know that we are all sinners, and we are asked to be part of something bigger. Communion isn't about being good enough, it's about the fact that Jesus died because we aren't good enough. Same with Christmas, Jesus came to earth to save us but he came as a humble baby. He doesn't expect me to be a certain way at Christmas he just wants me to make him the primary focus of the season. All the other things a just fine to do but if I don't put him at the forefront what's the point? So this holiday season i'm going to go to try and remember that while I'm not worthy on my own, Jesus's blood makes me worthy. That's easier said than done but that's what i'm going to try  and do.